I’ve been restless lately. Irritated. Un-settled. Someone will probably say, in their best Robert Anderson voice “too much coffee?” and I’d have to say “no, probably not enough”
On an unrelated topic, Starbucks have changed the color of their logo on the side of their cups. Its brown now, instead of green. When I saw that, I thought “What are they doing, the green logo is so…them.” But here it is a few weeks later and I realize it doesn’t really matter. In fact, I’ve grown used to the brown. The brown is subtler. Brown ink might be more friendly to the environment. It might be more soothing. Come to find out that it’s a ‘retro cup’ and an “old” Starbucks logo just out temporarily. Funny.
Back on topic #1. I am unsettled about what? I don’t know. But it’s not about the color of the Starbucks logo. Which brings up an interesting point. Making apparently superficial changes will often irritate people for a few minutes. But very shortly they are over it. In the case of the brown logo, the reasons for the change might not actually be superficial, but it is in fact that to me. And after noticing it and stewing on it for a couple of minutes, I haven’t really given it another thought. If I was asked by someone (say in a focus group) at the time it was exposed to me, I would have responded pretty strongly to it in the negative.
But I’m still not settled. So if I’m not settled, then it’s not about what is perceived to be superficial. It’s about something deeper that I can’t put my finger on. Spiritual matters for me are often like that. I don’t have a lot of words to describe my spiritual demeanor, and so I end up feeling disconnected from what is going on, but something is clearly going on. The way that I have looked at my faith, and the way I’ve lived out my faith isn’t satisfying where I’m at. I don’t think this is a crisis of faith, its more a crisis of consistency, and feeling that what I believe or want to believe is inadequately lived out in my life. Also, that the forms, or ways of describing what I believe are inadequate to describe my real experiences of faith. But I can’t put my fingers on exactly what is so unsettled, only that I am.
So, I’ll just accept that I don’t know exactly what it is that bothers me, and keep being open to seeing things differently. Kind of like seeing the side of the Starbucks cup, and moving on. I don’t have to have all the issues settled. I don’t have to know the answer to every question. I don’t know why I feel dissatisfied, or unsettled, or why they made the green logo brown. There is probably a good reason for all of it. I don’t have to, and know that it’s impossible for me to, “have it all figured out.” For today, that has to be OK. It might even be “retro.”
On an unrelated topic, Starbucks have changed the color of their logo on the side of their cups. Its brown now, instead of green. When I saw that, I thought “What are they doing, the green logo is so…them.” But here it is a few weeks later and I realize it doesn’t really matter. In fact, I’ve grown used to the brown. The brown is subtler. Brown ink might be more friendly to the environment. It might be more soothing. Come to find out that it’s a ‘retro cup’ and an “old” Starbucks logo just out temporarily. Funny.
Back on topic #1. I am unsettled about what? I don’t know. But it’s not about the color of the Starbucks logo. Which brings up an interesting point. Making apparently superficial changes will often irritate people for a few minutes. But very shortly they are over it. In the case of the brown logo, the reasons for the change might not actually be superficial, but it is in fact that to me. And after noticing it and stewing on it for a couple of minutes, I haven’t really given it another thought. If I was asked by someone (say in a focus group) at the time it was exposed to me, I would have responded pretty strongly to it in the negative.
But I’m still not settled. So if I’m not settled, then it’s not about what is perceived to be superficial. It’s about something deeper that I can’t put my finger on. Spiritual matters for me are often like that. I don’t have a lot of words to describe my spiritual demeanor, and so I end up feeling disconnected from what is going on, but something is clearly going on. The way that I have looked at my faith, and the way I’ve lived out my faith isn’t satisfying where I’m at. I don’t think this is a crisis of faith, its more a crisis of consistency, and feeling that what I believe or want to believe is inadequately lived out in my life. Also, that the forms, or ways of describing what I believe are inadequate to describe my real experiences of faith. But I can’t put my fingers on exactly what is so unsettled, only that I am.
So, I’ll just accept that I don’t know exactly what it is that bothers me, and keep being open to seeing things differently. Kind of like seeing the side of the Starbucks cup, and moving on. I don’t have to have all the issues settled. I don’t have to know the answer to every question. I don’t know why I feel dissatisfied, or unsettled, or why they made the green logo brown. There is probably a good reason for all of it. I don’t have to, and know that it’s impossible for me to, “have it all figured out.” For today, that has to be OK. It might even be “retro.”
1 comment:
Being settled could be worse. Like Dad's explanation of the clean garage. Once you're out of projects, you're out of things to wake up for. The big myth about being a grownup was that it would all be settled and in place, and solid. At least it was the myth my youth. Kids with uncertainty and abandonment in their families probably just thought nobody could be trusted. I (and maybe less so, you) thought that everybody could be trusted.
The boom boom outside our house has only ever been fireworks. It's never been gunplay.
Unsettled? Maybe because you're "only visiting this planet".
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