Addicted to the Bitter

The other day I was in Hong Kong on business. I was having coffee with an associate who pointed out how incredibly bitter tasting was the coffee they were serving. I said "it is?" He laughed, thinking I was joking, but I was serious. I sipped it again, and thought "OK, its a little more bitter than my normal coffee," but it was certainly not out of my range of acceptability. My colleague said that they must like bitter in Hong Kong, because all the coffee was bitter that we'd had there.

It made me think about our tolerance for bitterness. That like almost everything, bitterness is an acquired taste.

I have an acquaintance who has been through a lot. He's a professional, but has been tossed out of two of the last three positions he's held. The last one didn't last too long. He and his family believe that the people who employed him were the reasons the jobs have ended. That it was someone else's fault. Whenever he talks about the two places that threw him out, he is just so bitter.

After the last job ended, he received some career counseling, and discovered that his skills haven't really matched what he's been doing. I assumed that this would be welcome news, that he would realize that while it wasn't certainly only his doing that his employment ended, that this mis-match of skills wasn't the fault of the employer, but he had some responsibility.

But when I recently contacted him, it was clear that he is still laying everything at the feet of those who hired him. And he is still very bitter about being let go despite his new understanding of what his skills are. It made me realize that being addicted to bitterness helps when you don't really want to taste the truth. Something bitter can overwhelm a lot of subtle and pure taste.

This acquaintance is clearly not comfortably owning any part of what went wrong. So, he's going to keep drinking deeply from the bitter cup to avoid having to deal with this issue.

When I drink coffee, the bitterness and warmth helps to wake me up. But I admit that its so strong sometimes, that everything else gets masked when I drink it. Next time I drink some coffee, I want to try and figure out what truth I'm trying to avoid, not by drinking coffee (God forbid!) but by being bitter myself.